7 steps to change your life

7 steps to change your life

So here it is Christmas around the corner, wow it seems only a short while when we were celebrating New Year 2018, time goes by so fast.

So how did we all do on our New Year resolutions? I didn’t do too well, lose weight and join the gym, which lasted until, February or March.

How many of us say, “Ok when Christmas is over, I’m going to make next year count, it’s going to be totally different next year, surely it can’t be as bad as this year”.

So why does it become the same as last year? Why do we end the year the same?

So if you’re reading this I’m presuming you are frustrated that your year starts off with good intentions, however the little voice in your head says, yeah isn’t gona happen

Well I want you to know it can.

So I want to you to imagine you have bought a piece of property as an investment, it needs work on it but it will give you amazing financial rewards when it’s sold. So what do you do?

Do you sit there? And sit there        or do you get busy. The sooner we fix this property up, the quicker the rewards.

Well that’s the same for us, if we sit and do nothing, nothing is what we will get.

If we want change we have to change what we do.

I believe we can achieve this if we firstly don’t rush things, and if we don’t set expectation so high it’s unachievable. For instance, if we say “right I’m going to get my hair done, buy a new dress, take some pictures for my dating profile, I want to be in a relationship by valentines”.

Let’s go back to the property, would we do that with our property? Would we rush it? And if we did, would we expect a good return? Or would we drop our price? just for a quick sale. Imagine how disappointed we would feel, if we sold out cheap.

Well that’s the same for us. If we rush this, we may and usually do start to lose faith and then we start to drop our standards, for what, a relationships that under those circumstances will not last. We do not want Mr. or Mrs. Right now, we want long lasting Mr. or Mrs. Right.

I believe if we follow 7steps, we can make a difference, and I believe we can be this time next year, saying wow what a year, my world has completely changed.

Again lets go back to the property, we would have to decide how we were going to renovate, what time we could give, this would have to be well thought out, because we are all busy people, work, children, partners or the pursuit of one, life in general just gets in the way, but if we want a good return, we have to do this properly. Well that’s the same if we want our world to change, we have to put the work in. The rewards are phenomenal, I’ve seen it in clients I have worked with.  You simply have to decide, this is my time, now I need a plan to renovate me, and I believe the 7 steps will do that.

Head over to my website anytime to check out the 7 steps resource packs, everything you need to keep on track, it’s all free, my gift to you for Christmas.

So the 7 steps.


We have to commit to the process of changing, again as I said earlier if we sit, and sit and expect change we are going to be disappointed, we have to make a commitment to ourselves. Lots of resources available on my website to help with this, downloadable worksheets etc.


Nothing good happens without a good plan, what’s the saying “fail to plan, plan to fail “be your own project, I have set a whole page with resources, links, usable downloads to help with this. Head over to my website, all are easy to use. If not set your own plan. Do it weekly or monthly, small steps, big steps are overwhelming. Use the property as an analogy, if you can only see that you want it on the market for a certain price, but you know the kitchen is falling apart, if you do not concentrate on the kitchen, it won’t even get to market.  So plan slowly, remember we have till the end of the year to have made a difference. Check out the plan templates in the resource packs.


Make you the target of all that you do this year, You have to make you really important to you, that is decide, its time, it’s time for you to have fun, be happy. You know happiness is contagious, if we are happy we attract happy, all around us act happy, so if we are mum, dad, when we are happy our children act happy, so let’s make you the priority it’s not selfish it’s your right and you owe it to yourself.


Get out of your own way, don’t let yourself give up on you, push past your negative thoughts, even if you feel your head is full of them, try and push through. Again I have lots of resources on my website, click on the link, below. Sometimes life can feel overwhelming and we feel like we are in a fog, self-care and giving yourself permission to be still for a short time while the fog lifts will help.


Please find time for yourself. Lots of people say “ oh I’m to busy,” or “sorry don’t have time for that “ Imagine if you went into your employer and you told them “ sorry I don’t have time to give you to do my job I can only invest say 1 hour a week in the job” I’m sure you know where that conversation would end. Time to invest in you is time well spent. This is the biggest issue for all of us, we are consumed by how little time we have, but if we stopped and actually considered this, we probably have more downtime than we know we just don’t utilize it for us, well now we should.


This is one of your more important tools, we need to keep a daily diary, of how the day has gone, we don’t need to write copious notes, you can if you want to, if not just bullet points, this will be a reminder of what we have achieved but also it will provide us with insight in to what we could do differently. This is extremely important for our self-reflection, we should be able to see why we feel stressed, what are our triggers, what can we do to change this, so this is very important.

 And finally, and this is the best bit, make it fun. 

 7 FUN.

Please whatever else you do, please make it fun, I will do what I can to help with this, its scientifically proven if we enjoy ourselves  when completing tasks we remember them better and we stay focused, so let’s keep it fun. We are not a chore, we are amazing, let’s have fun getting to know ourselves.

Head over to my website, lots of interactive things going on.  Each of the 7 steps has a folder, with all the resources you should need to keep you on track, remember everything is free so what have you got to lose? Check out my vlog, I will be doing podcasts, lots more vlogs, please don’t be shy, send me an email if you’re struggling with any of the issues I have mentioned. Also contact if you wish to make an appointment remember I also offer online couples and individual therapy.

Website : https://brentwoodcounselling.co.uk/resource/

Call 07539738191

Email: marytaaron@brentwoodcounselling.co.uk

Have the best Christmas, remember the best present is getting unwrapped from now and that you, see you on the website.

Published by Mary T Aaron.

My name is Mary and I am a Relationship Counsellor, I am warm, compassionate and offer a safe space to explore your life/relationships/self-etc. I am honest and like to challenge clients to really get to know themselves. I work to enable clients to feel confident. I can help.

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