“Feeding a fantasy”
The idea of going abroad is generally developed from a holiday; we arrive in the beautiful location. Having left the gloom of our humdrum lives behind and here we are, sunshine, beaches, no stress, all the arguing we had before we left, the saving, the packing, all a distant memory, whilst we sit and sip our cocktail………
Escaping the city we live in that costs so much. Perhaps saving a marriage that has lost its spark
“Our relationship will be so much better “
Because we work so hard in UK when we are abroad we don’t argue as much, we spend more time together, we walk along the beach, we never do this at home, we go for cocktails most nights, we can’t do this at home, with driving and the weather and the local pub is a bus ride away by the time we get home we can’t be bothered……..
“It’s easier than the rush of UK”
Waking up to sunshine every day, having the beach at your door every day, feeling like we are on holiday every day, people are always socialising, people always look happier, especially with a few cocktails. Life is so simple,
The idea is that if only we lived somewhere more relaxed or exciting, we, too, would be that more relaxed and exciting.
So why do so many people, return home exhausted, broke and having to start all over again?
Because it’s like every relationship we have, whether with a home, a person or a country, we all have “expectation”.
Unconsciously, what many of us want to escape, is ourselves.
‘A strong belief that something will happen or be the case.’
‘A belief that someone will or should achieve something’
If our beliefs and expectations are not met, then we quickly start to see the flaws in the choices we made.
This goes for any relationship we have, if we do not create the solid foundation on which to build our dreams, lives and relationships, they will quickly crumble.
Living abroad can be every bit as thrilling and exciting as you want it to be, you can be happy, you can build your relationship again, you can make a different future for yourself but if you believe the country of your choice is going to do that for you, then sadly it’s likely to fail. That would be like asking your next door neighbour to fix your relationship while you nip out for a cocktail.
So here is the good news and the bad news.
The good news is, how your choice to move abroad succeeds or fails is down to you.
The Bad news is, how your choice to move abroad succeeds or fails is down to you.
My name is Mary Aaron. I am an Integrative Psychotherapist. Qualified and Experienced couples therapist, having trained at The Tavistock Centre, London, UK, internationally renowned experts. I currently work, part-time within an NHS setting, I also have a private practice.
My passion is working with couples. I have been described as warm and open, however I also believe Iam honest in my approach and feel it is a gift to challenge clients to discover their authentic self.
I also work with individuals who present with many issues, including relationship problems, bereavement, depression and anxiety issues.
I am a member of BACP and am on their accredited register.